On the first day ofDestigmatizing Sexual Health & WellnessIn Motherhood, Mama Comes First gave to me...the knowledge to break the silence and reclaim our voices boldly!
Silence is the patriarchy’s greatest weapon when it comes to maternal sexual health & wellness.
It tells mothers our changing bodies, needs, desires, and sexual health and wellness are unimportant, taboo, or even shameful. Silence isolates mothers, convincing us that our experiences are unique or unnatural, rather than the normal and valid realities of motherhood.
Silence thrives on shame & shame thrives on silence.
We can’t talk about what we don’t know and the patriarchy thrives on keeping mothers in the dark about their own bodies & sexual health. It starts when we are young and not even taught proper names for our body parts and made to feel that we aren’t allowed to talk about them because it is bad. As we get older, most of us rarely got the comprehensive sex education we needed, and if sex ed was available, its main focus was only on preventing pregnancy or STIs. Most of us never learned about how our bodies work, the role of pleasure, or the importance of consent. This gap in knowledge and disconnection from our bodies then followed us into adulthood, our partnerships, and motherhood.
Think back to your prenatal & postpartum care...
How much time did your provider spend talking to you about the changes your body was going through, or would go through, when it came to your sexual health and wellness?
Did they explain how pregnancy and postpartum might affect your libido, cause pain, or change how you experience intimacy?
Did they ask about your sex life, if you had any concerns or questions?
Did they prepare you for how societal pressures to “bounce back” might impact your body image and self-confidence?
Did they tell you that you might sometimes feel repulsed by your partner?
Or that you might have an insatiable desire for all the seggggggs during your pregnancy?
Or that breastfeeding might make your vulva and vagina feel like the Atacama Desert?
Or that peeing when you cough, sneeze, or jump is not normal—and that there are ways to fix it?
Did they mention how the mental load, stress, or sleep deprivation could affect your s*x life?
For most mothers, the answer is no.
When these conversations are skipped, Mothers remain disconnected from their bodies and sexuality. The message is clear (intentional or not): maternal sexual health & wellness doesn’t matter. Healthcare systems reinforce stigma and isolate mothers, forcing them to carry the burden alone.
When we aren’t taught how our bodies work or why we feel what we feel, we internalize blame.
Internalized blame leads to feeling shame, guilt, or failure. It makes us believe our struggles are personal flaws, not systemic failures. This can cause avoidance of care or not settling for poor care and not demanding better support, which reinforces the cycle of silence and stigma.
Breaking the silence is how we fight back.
It’s how we challenge the systems that seek to control and diminish us, reclaim our voices, and demand the care and respect we deserve.
It’s how we reconnect with our bodies and recognize what we truly need.
It’s how we move past shame and demand the care, respect, and support we deserve.
It’s how we have full autonomy & agency over our bodies and sexual health & wellness.
It’s how we end the cycle of shame, disconnection, and stigma, ensuring that future generations are armed with knowledge, empowerment, and the freedom to embrace their sexual liberation.
Six Actionable Steps You Can Take To Break The Silence
Speak openly about your body & experiences with trusted friends, partners, or a supportive community.
Tell your healthcare provider about s*xual health concerns (BE HONEST), don’t wait for them to bring it up.
Discover your body like never before. Learn how it works, what it loves, and what it doesn’t. Dive into books, blogs, videos, courses, and embrace self-exploration. Knowledge is power...AND liberation.
Begin age-appropriate s*x education with your children from birth, teaching them proper names for their body parts, modeling consent, and normalizing conversations about bodies and health.
Challenge harmful myths and stigma about maternal s*xuality whenever you encounter them.
Share posts like this to normalize these conversations and amplify the message.
